Kingdom Hearts Talent
by fencergirl00
Summary: Hey everyone! New story! Okay, basically, most of the people from Twilight Town, Radiant Garden, Destiny Islands, and the World that Never was are forced to compete in a talent show by a crazy authoress and her sister. I really don't have many ideas, so i
1. The beginning of the show

A/N: Hello everybody! fencergirl00 here. Guess what? I'm starting a new story!

horsie890: You had better update this a lot more often than you have a tendency to!

fg00: No duh. Anyway, here goes the story…thingy….yeah.

Disclaimer: Ugh, I hate these things. I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Disney, or anything like that. I just own my personal OCs who appears in the story.

**Chapter 1: The insanity begins**

"Hey sis! Watcha doin'?" A familiar light voice startled fencergirl00, making her fall off of her bed where she had been typing on her laptop, causing it to fall on her head.

"Oww…ever consider knocking, Lex?" fg00 groaned, rubbing her head. Her shoulder length blonde hair that had a slight reddish tint (A/N: I guess that makes it Strawberry Blonde, but whatever) was messy from not having been brushed, and now being rubbed. Her light blue eyes that had a grayish tinge (sometimes causing them to turn gray) were now slightly crossed after her blow to the head by her own computer.

"I did! Didn't you hear?" Her little sister, Alexis replied bubbly. Alexis was more or less a Mini-Me (a/n: I don't own that!) of fg00, except with platinum blonde hair and bluish greenish eyes. Also, she was a good four inches shorter than fg00's own 5'8".

"If I did, would I be asking you if you knocked?"

"Umm….yeah…?" fg00 silently cursed her little sister for being stupid. Even if she was three years younger than fg00's own thirteen. She then sighed, knowing it was very rare that she ever even SAW Alexis. You see, fg00 was adopted at birth, so she practically never sees her little sis.

"Never mind. What is it?"

"What's what?" _'Oh for God's sake' _fg00 thought.

"Why did you come in?"

"I wanted to see what you were doing! I'm bored and I wanna do stuff with my big sis!" fg00 smiled to herself. _'Weeeell…'_

"Actually, I was just typing some ideas that I had. You see…" fg00 whispered her plan into her little sister's ear. Alexis's face lit up as her big sister explained it.

"That sounds like so much fun! Can I be in it please please PLEASE?" Alexis begged.

"Of course! Why else would I tell you about it?" fg00 answered.

"Umm…..cuz? Can I be the host though pweeeeeeeeeese?" Alexis put on her puppy-dog expression on her face. fg00 shrugged.

"Sure, why not? Now, I have some plans to go over." She picked up her laptop and tried to get it to come back on, but….

"C'mon you stupid computer….Wake up! I SAID TURN ON!" fg00 shouted furiously at the laptop that wouldn't turn on. Then, it short-circuited, shocking fg00 and causing the laptop to start smoking. Alexis just stared at the sight and started laughing.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOUR COMPUTER BLEW UP! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Alexis said, rolling on the floor laughing. fg00 stared at the wreckage of her laptop, shrugged, and threw it out a conviently placed window, pwning Auron, who happened to be walking by. She then pulled out another laptop identical to the first and starting typing again, with Alexis staring over her shoulder (yeah, she stopped laughing finally).

In a very dark room, where practically nothing could be seen except a table, some chairs, and a randomly placed book, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Namine, Seifer, Fuujin, Raiijin, Vivi, Leon, Yuffie, Cloud, Aerith, Sephiroth, Tifa, Yuna, Rikku, and all of Organization XIII, except for Axel, who was strangely missing, and Roxas, because he was with the Twilight Town crew, not Organization XIII (Wow, that's a long list) were crowded into the room. (A/N: That musta been one big room, for 28 people to be in it at the same time)

"Okay, where are we?" Sora asked randomly.

"It appears as though we are in a large room." Saix answered.

"No, we're in the middle of a big field filled with flowers." Seifer replied sarcastically.

"Flowers? WHERE?" Marluxia demanded

"Dude, that was just plain weird, y'know?" Rai said.

"Why are we here again?" Zexion said with a bored sigh.

"Because…..umm…..why are we here again, Squall?" Yuffie asked

"IT'S LEON! And because we all got that invitation and then found ourselves here, remember?"

"Ahem! Hey, is this thing on?" A big booming voice came out of nowhere.

"AH! BIG SCARY VOICE THINGIE! DON'T HURT ME!" Rikku screamed, cowering behind Yuna. (A/N: I actually like Rikku, but I had to have this little joke at her expense, because she is scared of everything. Rikku: Meanie)

"Okaaaay…I'll just ignore that. Anyway, welcome to Kingdom Hearts Talent!" The big booming voice said. Suddenly, the lights came on, and the 28 people found themselves on a very large stage. A trap door opened up, and with some fog billowing from it, a single figure appeared who held a microphone. The person had straight platinum blonde hair that fell in layers to the base of her neck (yeah, a girl). Her bluish-greenish eyes sparkled from the lights. She wore a light pink sleeveless shirt and longish denim skirt that went to about her knees, along with a necklace with a small red heart on it and a blue bracelet with a dolphin dangling from it. She started coughing.

"Stupid (cough) fog. I knew (cough) she used (cough) too much. Anyway, let me introduce (cough) the judges! First from (cough) Twilight Town, we have Hay-(cough) Hayner." A light came on over at the previously empty table. Hayner waved, then said. "Uh, maybe you should stop talking enough for the fog to go away." The girl nodded and had another coughing fit.

"Wow, that's the first time Hayner has ever mad a kind suggestion." Roxas mused. Having recovered from her coughing fit, the girl started to talk again.

"Sorry about that. Anyway, our next judge, from Hollow Bastion, we have Paine!" Another spotlight went on, revealing Paine, who was sitting on the table because the chair was far too big for her. "Hi." She said simply.

"And now, from the World that Never Was and our third judge, Axel!" a red spotlight shone on him, and he grinned, amused by the book he was currently burning.

"And our fourth and final judge, also the authoress of this story, fencergirl00!" A spotlight shone on the fourth seat…but it was empty. Everyone in the room started looking around. "uh…fg00….hello?" the girl said. A flush was heard, and everyone sweatdropped as a girl who looked like the person announcing everyone except older and with strawberryish blonde hair and blue-grey eyes and taller returned to the fourth seat.

"Sorry, what'd I miss?" She asked.

"Other than your cue, nothing." the announcer person said. Then fg00 noticed Axel burning the book…

"AXEL! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY BOOK!" She yelled

"What? It's just a useless bunch of paper!" Axel replied, tearing his attention away from the flames long enough to talk to fg00.

"But it's my favorite book…aww man…oh well. That's what spare copies are for." fg00 whined, then pulled out another copy of the book and started to read.

The announcer girl continued, ignoring the little book-burning session. "And I'm your host and fg00's sister, Alexis! And now, for your first act, everyone is going to be split into pairs!"

"Why?" Xaldin asked.

"Because thirty of you going at one at a time is too much of a headache for me to type, so this way is easier." fg00 replied.

"Right. Now everyone's name is in this hat, so I'll call a name and that person will come up, pick a name, and the picked name will be said person's partner. Right, first is…Marluxia…" Marluxia walked up and picked a name, then squealed with delight, which we all know can't be good.

"YAY! I got Superior, I got Superior!" He said, dancing around like a little prissy girl….which he kinda is.

"Why must the world be so cruel? Why oh why?" Xemnas sighed, then got pulled backstage by Marluxia.

"Okay, next is…Roxas!" Roxas came up, picked, shrugged, and said "Tifa." He walked backstage with Tifa behind him. "Alrighty then, Vexen!" Vexen came up and his face contorted in horror… "Oh no, not again! NOOO!" Vexen cried. Alexis grabbed the piece of paper, and grinned. "Oh this is too good. Sora." Sora's eyes became filled with fear as he walked backstage with an equally scared Vexen.

"Aerith, come on down!" Aerith picked, then sighed in what seemed to be relief. "Zexion." The two went backstage, following Vexen and Sora.

"Let's see here, Demyx!" Demyx came up so quickly that it was like he poofed there. He pulled out a piece of paper, then shouted "RIKKU!" at the top of his lungs. This startled the poor little fairy-person and made her start flying around in circles. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! DON'T HURT ME PLEASE!" She screamed, then stopped, because Demyx had more or less grabbed her and popped her on his shoulder. Once everything was somewhat sane once more, Alexis continued to read names, having people come up, pick, then go away with their assigned partner. Finally, she was finished. Here are the pairs:

**Marluxia/ Xemnas**

**Roxas/ Tifa**

**Vexen/ Sora**

**Aerith/ Zexion**

**Demyx/ Rikku**

**Riku/ Raiijin**

**Cloud/ Sephiroth (that can't be good)**

**Fuujin/ Luxord**

**Larxene/ Saix (Oh boy)**

**Yuffie/ Yuna**

**Leon/ Kairi**

**Xigbar/ Namine**

**Xaldin/ Lexaeus (Xaldin: Why, wind? WHY!)**

**Seifer/ Vivi**

"So judges, whatdya think?"

"Dude, this is going to be a total laugh!" Hayner said with a grin.

"Interesting." Paine said simply.

"Can't wait to see how this goes." Axel put in.

"This is too good. This is waaaay too good." fg00 said evilly, then looked up from her book, "Huh? Oh wait, the pairs? Sorry, I was um…anyway!" She surveyed the pairs, then started laughing. "This is going to be so much fun to watch!" She laughed.

"Oh, and before I forget, instead of just coming in every week to perform," Alexis said, "You'll all be living together!"

"WHAT!" Practically everyone shouted. All four judges started laughing.

"So long everyone, and see you next week!" Alexis said happily into the microphone, and all 28 contestants disappeared to their new home for the show. fg00 sat back in her chair, grinning happily to herself. _'I'm so happy I thought of this' _she thought with a little chuckle.

fg00: That's chapter one, everybody! The reason I had Hayner, Paine, and Axel as the judges along with myself is because…well…Hayner just cuz, Paine because I wanted to torture the rest of the Hollow Bastion crew and Paine is to be the 'calm' judge, and Axel…because…well…AXEL RULES!

h890: ….whoa….wasn't expecting that.

fg00: " Anyway, it will probably take me a long time to update because I have absolutely no idea as to what everyone should do, so I'll happily take suggestions! And the first person to review for this chapter will appear as special judge! Oh, and the pairs idea is Namine14's. I just borrowed it for this! I'm sorry if you want to kill me! whimpers And any flames I may get will be given to Axel so he can cook hotdogs for the judges. Bye!


	2. The insanity starts

/N: Hey everyone! I'm back and I have a new chapter as well! I'd like to thank Suicidal RuBBEr Ducky for giving me so many good ideas. Also, she's going to be the guest judge for this chapter as well! Well, here's the second chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Grr…fine. I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. I only own Alexis in this story.

Alexis: Hey! You don't own me! I'm your sister, not your slave!

fg00: Technically, since you appear as an OC, I do own you!

Alexis: Shoot. 

The 28 contestants all now found themselves staring at what would be their home for the duration of the show…a huge mansion! 

"Sa-weeet! This is so awesome!" Sora said, pumping his fist in the air. 

"Ooh, it's so…big! I hope there's no spiders…" Rikku whimpered, now sitting on Demyx's mullet to get a better view.

"Hey! Get off! It takes me forever to do my hair, and I don't want you to get it messed up, got it?" Demyx growled.

"Sorry Mr. Demyx sir."

"Sheesh, he sure is sensitive about his hair." Yuna mused, standing on Yuffie's shoulder.

"You have no idea." Zexion said boredly, "Can we go in now?"

"We don't have a key! Didn't you realize that?" Xaldin asked. 

"Uh…no…" Everyone else muttered. Suddenly, Alexis appeared in a small puff of smoke. She held a card in her hand.

"Hello houseguests! Welcome to the Big Brother….hey waitasec! Dang it, fg00 gave me the wrong card!" Alexis cried. She then looked at all the people in front of her, and started to look a bit scared. 

"Shooooot, I don't know my lines!" She squeaked.

"Well, do you have the key to the mansion?" Larxene asked impatiently. 

"Key? There's a key?" Alexis said, confused. "I thought the door was open."

"Well, it's not! Let me show you!" Sora responded. He walked up to the door, put his hand on the doorknob, and turned it. The door swung right open. Everyone just stared, mentally kicking themselves for not having even tried to open the door.

"Well, that was a waste of time." Saix said. Everyone murmured an agreement and filed in. The house was them filled with gasps and "oohs" and "aahs". The hallway looked like it came straight from Hogwarts! It was very long with lots of connecting doors and staircases, with several paintings on the light colored walls and a few bookshelves resting against them like huge sentinels watching over the contestants.

"Woooooow….it's huge!" Kairi exclaimed. Alexis looked around, equally impressed. 

"How on Earth did sis find this place? It's amazing!" Then realizing that everyone was looking at her, she paled a little again. _'Uh oh! What should I say? I don't know what to do!'_ A card suddenly appeared in front of her, and she plucked it out of the air where it was floating. Her eyes quickly scanned over the writing on the card and she smiled, relieved.

"Well, as this is your home for the rest of the show, go ahead and choose your rooms. You can share with a friend or just have your own room. It doesn't matter because there are so many rooms in this place!" All of the Kingdom Hearts people stampeded past her to stake claims on their rooms. She walked away, somehow still in one piece, and decided to find fencergirl00 to thank her for her help. 

1111111110000000000000000001111111111111111000000000000000000000111111111111100000000 

(and now for some humor)

(a few hours later)

Demyx was randomly wandering around the mansion. Why, well, no reason! Anyway, as he had already staked a claim on his room, he decided to explore the place. As he walked, his stomach growled.

"Oh man, that's right! I haven't eaten in the longest time!" He groaned.

"But you're a Nobody! I thought you didn't need to eat!" A voice said, startling the poor Melodious Nocturne. Riku laughed as he came around the corner.

"Sorry about that. I just happened to be walking around."

"Yeah, me too…but I'm HUNGRY!!" Demyx shouted, and ran off in a random direction.

"You're going to the wrong way, numbskull!" Riku shouted. Demyx came back in a few seconds, saying, "I knew that."

"Uh huh, sure you did. Now let's get something to eat!" The two walked off to the kitchen, soon joined by Luxord and Yuffie for no apparent reason (They were probably hungry as well, but no one cares). But the sight that greeted them was not a great one. 

"BLOODY HELL MATE! WHAT THE DEVIL HAPPENED HERE??!!" Luxord exclaimed in his typical English manner. The other three just stared. The kitchen was a complete mess! The toaster was on its side with burnt toast strewn around it. There was a moldy orange on the floor, as well as about half a pizza on the ceiling. There was red sauce all over the counter tops, and a few banana peels on the floor, which Yuffie promptly tripped on. There was even some spaghetti and a few meatballs on the walls! Soon the other house members were attracted by Luxord's outburst. Everyone looked on in confusion.

"What happened?" Aerith wondered. Kairi and Namine walked into the kitchen to survey the damage.

"Alright, who did this?" Kairi eventually demanded. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. No one knew and/or would want to admit they had done it.

"Well? No takers? In that case, we'll all clean it up!" Namine said. Everyone looked at her and took a few steps back. Eventually Raijen stepped forward, saying "Here's what I think about that, y'know?". He scooped some of the applesauce off of the floor and threw it at Namine, but missed and hit Larxene! And knowing her… 

"What the-?! Ooh, you're in for it now you…" Just then a plane flew by. "I'll show you not to throw stuff at me!" She scooped some of the red sauce (now thought to be tomato sauce) and threw it right back at Rai. Then Rikku thought it would be fun to throw a meatball at Yuna, but also missed and hit Saix, who went berserk and threw the moldy orange at Marluxia, who freaked out and started screaming like a little girl and ran into Sora (and consequently got clobbered by a randomly placed loaf of French bread by the Keybearer). And it all went downhill from there, meaning there was a huge food fight. Eventually there was so much chaos that the kitchen ended up being even more of a mess then it was in the first place! And still no one knew who made the first mess.

"Oh great! Now look at the place!" Kairi shrieked in disgust. She was covered in spaghetti and tomato sauce, as was practically everyone else. Sora and Roxas both had pieces of pizza stuck on their insanely spiky hair, as did Leon and Cloud. Xaldin was happily munching on the moldy orange that was stuck on the end of one of his spears, much to the others' disgust. Xigbar was just staring, Lexaeus was dancing around and slipped on another banana peal, groaning "Lexaeus are thinkeding that Lexaeus hading a headedached.", and then was clobbered by another loaf of French bread (and a very familiar tip jar) by horsie890, who appeared out of nowhere, for butchering the English language. Sephiroth was eating a meatball, courtesy of Rikku. And everyone else not mentioned was either showering or had already left to avoid Kairi's wrath. At that very moment of complete chaos, Alexis happened to wander in. She stared in bewilderment.

"What the…..what happened?!" She stammered, eyes wide with shock. Everyone tried to charge past her again to escape, but an angry voice yelled "Hold it!" The would-be escapees cringed and turned, knowing who the voice belonged to. Kairi had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot impatiently.

"Alright you slackers, we made this mess, and we're cleaning it up. NOW." She said angrily, and shoved buckets, mops, and various other cleaning instruments into practically everyone's hands (excluding Alexis, because she didn't take part in the food fight). And so they all cleaned up the kitchen while Alexis watched, very much amused. _'Hmm….who would have thought that that would go so well? Heh heh heh….and they'll never know I was the one who made the mess in the first place!' ___

1111111000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000111111111111000000000000000111111   
(a couple of days later)

"Welcome back to the show, everyone!" Alexis announced cheerfully. Everyone else murmured some half agreement. All were tired for having to clean for two whole days in order to get the kitchen back into, well, order.

"Well that was enthusiastic." Axel said sarcastically.

"Anyway, today we have a guest judge! Introducing…Suicidal RuBBEr Ducky!" Just then the said authoress came in and took her seat. "And now to continue our program. Up first we have Seifer and Vivi, having a rematch Struggle bout!" The two walked onstage and began to fight. Vivi was clobbering Seifer with his magic to the point Seifer didn't have any orbs left. Then the mage set Seifer on fire, just for the heck of it.

"OHMYGODI'MONFIRE!!!" Seifer yelled before falling off the stage into a conveniently placed tub of water. Everyone started cracking up as the Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare played.

"Well judges?" Alexis said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh yeah, Seifer got pwn3d! What now you n00b!" Hayner shouted, laughing his head off. The other four judges just stared at him. Then he got clobbered by horsie890 with bread and the infamous tip jar for speaking IM.

"Well, that was just plain weird. Oh yeah, the act. Well, nice use of magic. That's all I have to say." Paine said.

"YAYNESS FOR FIRE!!" Axel yelled at the top of his lungs, then set fencergirl00's book on fire again.

"Knock it off Axel!" She growled, and then whacked the spiky-haired pyromaniac upside the head. "Well, the act was very amusing, I'll give you that."

"Thanks for using my idea, fg00! It was hilarious to watch!" Suicidal RuBBER Ducky said.

"Thank you Seifer and Vivi! And up next are…Marluxia and Xemnas, dancing the…tango…oh boy." Alexis shuddered when she said the last sentence, as did everyone else. The two Nobodies walked on stage, but not really. Marluxia more or less dragged his Superior onto the stage. The music started, and the pair started to move across the stage in a slow, easy rhythm. Marly was doing most of the dancing, while Xemnas mainly just stood around and moved woodenly. The dance was just too disturbing for words. When it was finally over (thank God), all of the judges emerged from beneath the table, where they had been hiding.

"THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!" All five shouted after having been completely grossed out by the shojo ai-ness of the duo's 'dance'. 

"Hmph!" Marluxia growled in anger as he stormed off stage, dragging Xemnas again.

"Well, that's it for this epsiode! Tune in next time for more insanity on Kingdom Hearts Talent!" Alexis announced, and disappeared offstage. 

fg00: Well, that was that chapter 2! I hope everyone enjoyed it. For everyone who's read this chapter and read When The Organization Goes Ice Skating by WindofDancingFlames, you should recognize the Tip Jar gag. And also if you've seen either Decline of Videogaming 2 or A Decline X-mas, you'll get the OHMYGODI'MONFIRE! joke. So, yeah. I'll try to update soon. Bye!


End file.
